


Gay Sex In The Cockpit - Roskosmos Flight 407 (S01E01)

by eliora



Category: Air Crash Investigation
Genre: Anime, Gay, Gay Sex, Hebrew, Israel, M/M, Plane Crashes, Russia, Yaoi, cockpit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:53:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23184325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eliora/pseuds/eliora
Summary: It is my first fanfiction (i say that because it is posted second on the website and I don't want to ruin the order but I already did)Roskosmos Flight 407 was a scheduled flight from Moscow, TON 618 to Tel Aviv, Israel.Cockpit voice and flight data recorders revealed the fact that pilots engaged in gay sex. While seated at the captain's penis, the first officer had unknowingly disengaged the J1311's autopilot control of the aircraft's ailerons. The autopilot then disengaged completely causing the aircraft to roll into a steep bank and a near-vertical dive. Despite managing to level the aircraft, the first officer over-corrected when pulling up, causing the plane to stall and enter into a spin; the pilots managed to level the aircraft off once more, but by then the plane had lost too much altitude to recover and crashed into the Birkat Adi Nature Reserve.
Kudos: 2





	Gay Sex In The Cockpit - Roskosmos Flight 407 (S01E01)

Black hole TON 618. On Israeli calendar, it is June 13, 12'705'302'018. This is Mid-Cretaceous period for Israel and Late Keronian period for TON 618.

At a black hole's Baikonur spaceport (I went upfront), 758'000'000 people of various sexualities, romanticities and genders are waiting for a trip to the star Israel. Israel draws moles of tourists from all over the universe due to its unique biodiversity. 

Roskosmos Flight 407 is a route from Moscow Baikonur to Tel Aviv Ben-Gurion spaceport. It is operated by a series of spaceships, one after another. This one is a Jizzforce J1311-200.

The Jizzforce J1311-200 operating the flight is standing at the gate 7, and waiting for departure. A spaceport worker is checking people's tickets. She looks to a ticket, to find the legal name Natalya Ivanova crossed out with a pen, and a new one, Sharon Ivanenko written over it. She asks:

\- Why are you doing this?  
\- I am transgender and have not done a legal name change yet.  
\- Ah, the mighty power of "yet", replies the passport checker.

Eventually, everyone made it through. This is pre-9/11, so people could do insane things at the spaceports by today's standard. Once everyone is seated, a pre-takeoff silence fills the cabin. A Russian ice age breeze will soon be replaced by hot Israeli luminosity. The spaceship begins its takeoff roll, since it is made to go horizontally. Flight is 18'670'000'000 light years long, and they are expected to arrive at 13:47 Israeli time.

Once in space, microgravity takes a turn in the cabin. This is the fun time because unstrapped people can't reach their seats.

\- Why is the spaceship making a sound when we are in space? - asks Vanya, he/him, gay.

\- The answer is because while spaceship has no air, there is air inside and it resonates. - replies Eiler, she/her and they/them, pansexual.

Spaceship has left the original galaxy behind, and the rest of the universe finally appears moving. Everyone is taking and streaming pictures, plenty from their 2nd accounts because their families don't accept them. 

13:30 Israeli time. Tel Aviv, Ben-Gurion Intergalactic Spaceport. 

Kolmeno Flight 716'244'238'810'001'390'178'170 lands, thus clogging the spaceport completely. The captain exclaims, "How special do you have to be to clog a spaceport? Maybe I should play the lottery." First officer adds, "If you do play, split the cash with me plzz." All incoming flights will be forced to orbit the star until one spaceship leaves, or divert to other spaceports. This message is transmitted to Roskosmos 407.

\- Ben-Gurion tower, Roskosmos 407, how do you read?

\- Excellent reading, Roskosmos 407, how you read? 

\- Positive, Roskosmos 407.

\- The spaceport is clogged, and you will either have to divert to other spaceport, or orbit until further notice. 

\- Roger that. What is the best spaceport.

\- Divert to Netanya, 45 x 45, but keep in mind that everyone else also is asking for diversion there, and you can get a clog there too.

\- Affirm, bye bye.

Netanya is on the opposite side of the star from Tel Aviv, about 2 billion km of route. Captain programs the path into the autopilot and sits down. Once they made a final approach, ...

\- Netanya Tower, how do you read?

\- Excellent reading, Roskosmos 407. How do you read?

\- Positive, Roskosmos 407. We need to initiate a landing.

\- Entire Israel is clogged at the moment, you will have to orbit until further notice. What is your altitude and derivative?

\- 1.3 ex 7, minus 1 ex 5 per second. [Ex means "to the power of", unit is 1.6162 km]

\- Occupy Flight Level 310 (31'000 km), inclination 90, ascending node 135 eastern. 

\- Affirm, bye bye.

Flight 407 makes an announcement to the passengers about the clog, and takes the orbit along the 45 degrees west. Time passes on, and on, no notice. 2 minutes, 3 minutes, 5 minutes, 10 minutes. In the cabin, passengers are looking at how the star looks like from low orbit.

"Wow, I have never seen a star from so up close, especially Israel", says Kayden, a neutrois-agender person (they/them). 

Evgeniya, a demigirl-transgirl, adds to the conversation. "Eh, everyone is taking pictures and sending them back home, meanwhile I can only post them to my shitty "copernicium" account. Being closeted means living two lives, and living two lives sucks. Crazy how I am two different people."

\- Zhenya, do your parents know that you are trans?

\- No, they just push the masculine development on me because my father divorced early. I would probably get beaten up for being who I am.

\- Oh, that is so sad, Liza exhales.

As the spaceship is smoothly sailing at 150 kilometers per second, conversation in the cockpit takes place between the Captain and the First Officer. Windows and personal relationships between these two people were also common before 9/11, that is K/Pg. But ever since that day everything was monitored tightly. A window is a time period in which Captain and First Officer can do whatever they want, even say stupid things into the cockpit voice recorder. The only issue that arises is when they actually do something wrong. Windows are necessary to keep the job less stressful, and sometimes they also occur due to delay. Before 9/11 was such a carefree time...

\- How's your wife going? - First Officer asks.

\- She cucked me for a bigger Chad, who in my opinion isn't even a Chad. More like a high-tier Brad slash normie. - Captain replies with sarcastic sadness.

\- Understandable. I am having difficulties in putting my wife to bed, because of feminism. - First Officer empathizes with him.

\- Oh yeah, feminism. Don't even mention about how places became actually more segregated by sex than ever before. Now a man and a woman can't stay in the same room two together, and you can get thrown in jail for using the wrong pronouns. These social justice snowflakes take over campuses and make people so weak it is hilarious. I mean I accept gay and trans people, but not the cockarekoo ones on the parades with so much body showing, well it defeats the purpose of feminism. 

Captain has given a briefing pretty much.

\- Honestly I don't know how to get my wife nicely done at this point. This is really depressing.

\- Maybe you can try to approach her and be playful?, - Captain suggests to the First Officer.

\- No no no no no, vaginas are on the lock in this stratigraphical period. I don't want to lose my custody rights all because my wife believes in something. - First officer adds with a sigh.

\- I wonder how this all applies to trans women who are still privileged because they don't have a uterus.

\- I mean I use she/her pronouns because I have no other choice, but why am I forced to believe that a man who claims to be a woman, is a woman? - First Officer keeps expressing his disdain in feminism.

\- Fair enough. Speaking of men claiming to be women... What if I become one now and give you what you need? - Captain became extremely suggestive.

\- What? Really?

\- I mean, it has been 48 minutes and we still haven't received a permission to land, so maybe if we can do it here, we can make the experience less boring.

\- Hm, I think... I actually consent to this feat.

Captain actually knew that FO was bisexual, and took this to his advantage, so they can both get a place to unite. At first, Captain smoothly slides out of his uniform, trying to create a decent replacement for a woman. First officer joins the game, because being a woman gives him power, I mean women are the privileged sex now. 

In the cabin, everyone is unaware of what is happening in the cockpit. People just go about their thinking process, wave their pride flags, and are hoping to see Argentinosaurus, Netanyasaurus and Kravosuchus. At first their program involved seeing tyrannosaurids, but due to diversion the leader of the group decides to show the Argentinosaurus nesting sites, in the Birkat Adi reserve.

In the cockpit, the gay process has fully unfolded. Both of the astronauts had never experienced such pleasure, because women refuse to give it to them. "Are you ready to feel intense heat?" - asks the captain. "Aye Aye captain!" - exclaims the first officer, knowing that his body will soon be taken care of. First officer makes a scream so loud that this actually concerns the flight attendant for a short moment. She knocks on the cockpit door:

\- Is everything okay?

\- Yeah it is, - Captain says from behind closed door. 

Now they are playing Titanic, while standing on the pane above controls, with captain as usual, being the top, and first officer being the bottom. The pane at the front of the spaceship is just an empty spot above the flight deck designed to complete the pointy shape. 

Captain and first officer continue pleasuring out, and now they get in their seats. Well, actually, they both get in the captain's seat, with first officer riding the captain. Now captain speaks smoothly:

\- Wanna go for a preludoid and fugoid?

\- Yeah, why not, my senpai?

They both make movements to the captain's yoke, and move the spaceship's nose up and down slowly, as if they are singing each other to sleep. While riding the captain is a sensuous experience, their movements end up contradicting the autopilot for over a minute, which causes it to disengage in the pitch axis. The cute yaoi flight is still kept in check by the movements, but what the crew doesn't know, is that the spaceship is now free to pitch up and down. Captain decides to accelerate the spaceship to better feel the first officer's body against him. Now, prior to 9/11, it pretty much didn't matter what pilots and astronauts did in the cockpit, all that mattered is they got from point A to point B with no complaints from passengers. 

With movements now not serving the passengers, but now meaning to please the crew's gay diorgy, autopilot is unable to cope and disengages completely. Now the passengers have all their belongings flying across, and some are themselves flying across the cabin. Everyone is now legitimately scared. Nobody knows why the g-forces are pushing them in different directions. First officer tries to get off the captain's stick, but g-forces are pushing him back into the "seat". Flight 407 is flying away from its orbit, while the couple pushes it towards Israel, causing more chaos. 

\- Down, put it down! 

\- I am trying, I can't! I don't know why it is not controlling itself! - First officer says in an attempt to justify his inability to get out.

Suddenly, from the immense forces on his twink body, first officer cums on the flight deck. Now certain instruments begin to malfunction, and this causes even more chaos. 

All of a sudden, spaceship becomes uncontrollable and falls into a steep dive. Now extreme g-force is replaced by mere weightlessness. First officer is now finally able to get out of captain's embrace, and take his own seat. Captain desperately tries to wipe the jizz from the airplane instruments, but no effort. His hands only stick to it now more and he effectively loses control. First officer tries to save the spaceship, but it doesn't respond. Captain screams: "I hope you are trying! Please try!" First officer replies with puffs while pulling on the yoke: "I!... just... can't!... get... it... up!", referring to the spaceship. Captain adds by saying "Well, it is the loaded spaceport that it is the fault, because they shouldn't have been clogging". Once the spaceship has wrongly accelerated to 12400 km/s, they have only 8 minutes left from hitting the ground.

Later, Captain and first officer desperately try to wipe the sticky semen from inside the instruments, because they believe that it is the cause of spacecraft malfunctioning. They get as much semen as they can off the controls, but clothing also sticks. Israel's surface and flares are moving closer and closer. Their final hope is to recover by gaining speed. But no response again from the controls. Nothing is working. At this point, first officer gets the crash axe and rips flight deck open, trying to repair it. 

Spacecrafts nearby try to contact Roskosmos Flight 407, but no response. 

After looking for over 5 minutes in the manual, captain and first officer try to put the spaceship in an aerodynamically unfavorable position, as to slow down and maybe recover. But with nose locked in a downwards position, there is no way that this is possible. People realize that spaceship has no sign of slowing down and is heading directly for the star, so they begin writing farewell letters and making farewell social media posts. For many, this is their only chance in life to be referred by their real name, instead of their passport name. 

At 14:27, an alarm in the cockpit sounds. Sink Rate Pull Up. And it keeps sounding over and over, because now spaceship is doing weird motions. Captain says: "Well I hope atmosphere rips an engine off, so that we will have at least some chance at control". They go back to scrolling through the manual. 

\- Is this a Mayday? Should we declare a Mayday? - says first officer.

\- No, then they will find out about our battfaccery.

\- Okay.

First officer goes back to fierce manual checking, but it is minutes before hitting the ground.

Lavina, a cis lesbian looks at a lot of people in the cabin. She asks, "Is this it? Is it our time to go?"

Cuprum, a trans demigay demiboy, says, "Is this the so-called punishment for sin?"

In the cockpit, captain tries to make spaceship climb, but it only causes a stall and a flat spin. Suddenly, from atmospheric densening, a piece of spaceship rips off, which puts it into a screwing motion around the roll axis, but the yaoi astronauts still can't lift their nose away from Israel. Captain decides to take a dramatic measure of changing the direction of thrust, but since he didn't put his landing glasses on, due to immense Israeli luminosity he now can't see the solid ground, he doesn't realize he is actually making the spaceship spin faster. The eyes need to get used to an extra-large amount of ultraviolet light. 

14:29 Israeli Time. Roskosmos Flight 407 crashes into an argentinosaurus nesting site, 1'211'351 km east of Netanya, Israel. All 758'000'000 passengers and 10'000 crew are killed. The energy released amounts to 20 trillion tons of TNT, and registers 9.45 on a Consiglio extinction scale. 

Sharon Perechodit manages to capture this picture of a spaceship coming down. Once the crash happened, explosion blew spaceship pieces across a 414'651'000 km^2 area, or a 11488 km radius. Source: Nukemap Classic. A fireball was also visible from Netanya's highest buildings. Considering the unpopulacy of this area, there were no ground casualties.  
\----------------------------------  
Roskosmos Flight 407 crashed into an argentinosaurus nesting site in a region 1 million kilometers east of Netanya, 7th largest city in the star of Israel. The explosion did not contribute a significant amount of damage due to how much energy the 53000 kelvin air contains, but it took 768'000 people's lives away with it. 

First to notice the problem were the Gurvona space traffic controllers. In a segment of space assigned to them, they noticed a dot that was still, and then disappeared. Within 2 minutes of the crash, Netanya and Gurvona controllers confirmed that RK407 was down. 

At the crash site, there were no recognizable pieces of the Jizzforce spacecraft. Most of this is just an 240 km wide gaping crater. 2 investigators, Levi Yitzhaki and Hiten Sofer get to the crater to examine if there is any possible evidence. At first, Levi looks at the crator to examine what the impact looked like. They (Levi) say: 

\- Hm. Radiating arrays of fossae. Smooth cup. A precise melt pool. Wow. This looks like this was formed on a planet with no atmosphere at all. 

\- Not mentioning the poorly spilled Argentinosaurus egg yolk all the way around. Must be a feast for predators. - Hiten adds with a poker face.

\- This is definitely a C-FIT. Definitely a C-tantrum, because the astronauts had to be at the controls when it hit. If it was an uncontrolled atmospheric entry, we would see it blown back by the stellar wind. - addition of Levi continues.

\- Are we going to see any pieces of 407 or we can safely assume it was vaporized? - Hiten presses on Levi with psychopathic, dead, official sarcasm.

\- Considering that a Jizzforce J6912-500 has a mass of around 750'000 tons, it is reasonable to assume a kinetic energy level that briefly gave it a 1 Gigakelvin plasma shock. Unfortunately spaceship never recoevered from that shock, and, phalloimitated. - Levi puts forward a conclusion.

\- Well, in order to prove that it actually reached 1 Gigakelvin we need to see the evidence that material shifted into such plasma. We are looking into the temperatures of everything about 30 parts after the big bang, or... silicon fusion. If there was any silicon within the spaceship, we would see it fused into nickel, molybdenum, barium, etc. - Hiten says in a paper-like manner.

Hiten pulls out the gas detector and checks the air for isotopes of the said elements. There are traces of immediate fusion products from the crash, but they occur in unusually small rates. Wow, - adds Hiten, - it shows the traces of elements from 10 to 30, but not higher. This means that a lighter element fused than silicon. But what it is?

Levi propose their hypothesis and raise their finger up in the air. "I have a hypothesis!" - Air itself, which is made of hydrogen, became fused together and exploded, leaving this crater behind. Also look at the ember ash that is on trees. This kind of ash could have only been made by a lithium, beryllium and sodium burning quickly in oxygen that was made from the explosion. Which only confirms that this was a strongly deliberate fly-in.

Liron Dagan, another investigator, shows an interesting piece of wreckage. A flight data recorder, and a pale crimson cloth patch, like that of a flag. Hiten looks at the piece, and looks up the color online. 

Hm, what do I see. Hiten continues: "[256, 149, 197] in the 540 trichrome, [256, 0, 0, 140] in the 540 tetrachrome... interesting. Now what colors correspond to this. In trichrome: pale violet red, hot pink, ... In tetrachrome: light fuchsia, amora, purple sabra, trigender flag... Wow. Trigender flag. So there is a chance that this piece of clothing came from a stripe on a trigender flag". 

Liron gave Hiten a brief stare and proposed another idea:"Let's check the flight's passenger manifesto. If there is a lot of "refer to me as", or names that differ from legal names, there was a lot of transgender people on that flight, which can give us the clues as to what probably happened. Or someone boarded the spaceship with a stolen passport and crashed it." 

Susanna Juges comes up to the scene and says: "Did someone say transgender? I happened to investigate a crash with this cause". Susanna then quoted her research: "I am talking about Udmurt Spacelines flight 49'284, which crashed due to the fact that spaceship was filled with non-dysphoric trans women. However the flight engineer was simply informed that the passengers were "women" and took the 60 kg weight instead of 80 into calculation. Also, given the intersectionality of the event, there were body positivity and fat acceptance activists. And they sat in the first class of the spaceship, which violated the centring. The pilots started the cosmic engines to help the poor thing, but due to fat people being at the front, pilots were aiming for the ground and... you can probably guess the rest."

Liron asks: "What was exactly the character of the crash"?

Susanna fulfills: "It was an inability to reach escape velocity on horizontal takeoff. Given that spaceship was pointed -0.9 degrees due to body positivity, pilots ate the trees".

Levi adds to the mess: "Why don't we take a look at the flight data recorder instead?" 

"Hm, good." - added Hiten.

"Why didn't I... for all the lulz in the world..." - exclaimed Liron.

The investigation team gets to the center in Gurvona, in order to read the flight data recorder. Cockpit voice recorder wasn't yet found. Liron pulls out the information carrier from the recorder and stuffs it into the transfer port.

They scroll through the flight parameters recorded. Speed, very erratic. Acceleration, also erratic. Bank angle: strange sawtooth wave. Yaw angle: curve makes no sense. Pitch angle: A smooth 90 degrees line. None of these lines make sense, until they reach the tangent of the pitch. This is also a recorded parameter, and it showed this:

This is also a recorded parameter, and it showed this:  
There was some mild, barely noticeable waving from 50 to 54 minutes, but after that it was a straight line, until the moment of crash  
There was some mild, barely noticeable waving from 50 to 54 minutes, but after that it was a straight line, until the moment of crash. 

Look at that. - Straight line, all the way until the end. - Liron says in a state of wowing.

That is pretty much the only "straight" thing about this crash. - Hiten jokes up.

Susanna adds her theory. 

So my theory is, that this was another kind of centroid violation that was unrecoverable. Spaceship this time leaned so hard autopilot automatically went into a mode it wasn't built for. Given the body-positivity, we can expect up to 30% overweight spaceship which explains the situation. 

Liron asks, "How do you explain the straight tangent of pitch?"

"Well then, - Susanna makes a spontaneous decision, - this is the equipment failure. System was most probably trying to save the spaceship but due to a miscalculation it put it in a dive like this. The TV Geminorum Space flight 1024 experienced a similar problem when the autopilot put it into a screw-in at a rate of 10 degrees per second squared. I think similar situation happened here. Excessive reliance on blunt science and relativity as opposed to more dynamic controls".

Levi begins hypothesizing. They say "I have a more bitter hypothesis". 

Everyone looks around and Susanna says: "What is it?"

So my hypothesis is, that somenone broke into the cockpit, possibly on the social justice matters. I strongly suggest the connection to the radical left, especially after the crash of Chad Spacelines Flight 477'910'774'888'827'482, which I also investigated. A social justice warrior broke into the cockpit, screaming "Keep your hate speech off this spacecraft!", threw spaceship off course, and made it crash on a planet about the size of Segolot [d = 74396 km]. I think the same could have happened here.

Another investigator, Shachar Ivy, asks to check the piloting functions. "Why don't we check the autopilot and see whether this looks like a hijack, suicide, or something else?", - they added. Liron opens the autopilot data. All the investigators see that at first, autopilot's control of pitch disengaged, after the swinging began. Then whole of the autopilot disengaged. 

Levi begins to grind the hijack theory to fit the new data. "My new hypothesis is, is while a possible SJW hijacker was trying to grab at the controls, ze pulled on the yoke to crash, thus leading in pitch disconnection first." - they fulfill their hypothesis. 

Shachar adds: "This is all nice, but without the cockpit voice recorder this is all inherently useless. We need to find the voice recorder."

Susanna continues: "Well, we did the Udmurt disaster without the voice recorder. Through data and passenger manifesto it was easy to see that centroid was out of place. While the search is happening, we can check into that passenger manifesto and see if anyone or anything caused the centroid shift".

Liron: "Well this time we actually have to check passengers' medical histories, when they were last weighed."

Susanna: "I think medicians will bend over for anything to help the investigation process". 

The investigation team contacted every clinic of every passenger onboard that flight. Meanwhile, the rumors began spreading in TON 618. Some people thought that it was a terrorist bomb. Some were quick to blame on the God or sin of being gay. Some thought that gay people were themselves terrorists. Everyone had their own ideas. 

Following the pulling out of medical history, a much more sinister fact was discovered. Domestic abuse in the families of some of the victims. For example, some parents were inherently surprised and upset that their child's gender identity was against the family's rules. When the medical information of some of the trans girls like Evgeniya was taken, parents, and especially fathers, were complaining that their weight was not enough for a boy their height, and that their children were just little boys compared to the grown teenage lads.

Susanna and Liron assemble the information, and they find out that fat people were predominantly seated in the back. Liron says: "Susanna, this is just a small centroid shift. How could this cause a crash?"

Susanna pushes her theory: "Well the TV Geminorum crash was for about the same reason. One baggage of 1541-ium triggered the faulty rolling instrument and spaceship began to screw itself." 

Liron: "And how complex was the expertise to determine this?"

Susanna: "Well, I would say rather complex. It took great computer power and atomic analysis".

Liron shoots down Susanna's argument by saying "Let's just wait until voice recorder is found".

Moscow, TON 618. A group of anti-gay protesters collected before Roskosmos headquarters, and Russian Supermassive Black Hole Cosmonautics Administration. They are holding signs like "HOMO SEX IS SIN", "GOD HATES PIDORS", "BURN IN HELL", "SPACESHIPS CRASH GOD LAUGHS", etc. They demand that gay people be banished from cosmonautics. This was fueled by immense amount of social justice content that was actually just people getting "triggered" over the spaceship crash. The polarization increased. 

The investigation team from Israel arrive in Cosmonautics Administration to present the spaceship wreckage, that is, chips only a few millimeters across and indirect evidence of chemical reaction. CVR is not yet found. 

\- This is the pile of dust that used to be the spaceship and all the people inside. - Liron replies smoothly.

\- Okay, how we determine then which pieces belong to what part? - says Arkadiy Zubenchenko, the investigator from the Russian team. 

\- Chemical analysis. - adds Liron.

\- Then we take 1 m^3 sample of dust at a time and put it through an atomic ray and acid scanner. Oh, and the mixture is radioactive.

The team put 1 cubic meter of dust from the crash site into an acid scanner which will remove electrons and give insight to atomic structure. They find a totally random mixture of neutron-poor nuclei. 

Hiten Sofer recites his theory: "Well these nuclei are neutron poor, because the nuclear fusion created large elements whose ratios of neutrons weren't enough. Also what is the largest piece of wreckage here? A gay housefly's baggage?"

Levi says: "I have no idea, maybe someone else found it. Shlomo Nichkek is in charge of this commission, so I will call him to get the largest pieces". After a call, they bring pieces of metal with some rusty-looking sides into the studio.

Yeshayahu Adiv comes into investigation scene and adds: "This is most likely a tail piece. Or the landing fins piece in case of a vertical landing. Spaceship hit the star face front, and tail is most likely to survive".

Liron stares at the piece in her typical Quora psychopath stare, then towers her idea: "Sputtering. This is most likely sputtering by the organic elements that the LGBT+ people on board were made from. The 11467-proton nucleus is hit by nucleons like 20 in Z. It is like an evaporating comet. This isn't getting us anywhere. All we are receiving from the debris is the confirmation that explosion was quick. We need the voice recorder".

Meanwhile, the tensions between the left and right are getting worse, because now Roskosmos bans people with matching sexualities from being in the cabin. The bisexual, polysexual and pansexual pilots were removed from their work places, which led to a 10% drop in flights and needless delays. Everyone had an opinion on how penises bring down spacecraft, even the families of the crash victims. Some people rejected to see the remnants of their children, because being LGBTQ automatically cancelled their love for their children. Some, on the other hand, were actually supportive families and were sad. Politics played a role in reacting to children's deaths also. The far right and anti-LGBT sectors, which were previously considered freaks and had little support, now received an increase of support. 18 TON 618-ian spacelines, including Roskosmos, excluded "refer to me as" thing from their passenger manifestos. 

In the other parts of the universe, TON 618's actions were greatly condemned. UY Scuti, VV Cephei, US America (HIP 323056), AH Scorpii, Israel, S5 0014+81, VV-185, Holmberg 15A, RS Teoni, RQS-5590, pretty much every large star and black hole had actions and meetings about supporting the LGBTQ community. The amount of empathy porn was immense, actually. Many people pretended to care, but actually they were just in for the attention ride. On the other hand, actual people from the rainbow community got more emotional. Except it didn't pass without SJWs either. The amount of social justice was still inappropriate even for support and help events. Many LGBTQ+ people actually turned to the right-wing ideology as to not be seen as SJW causers.

And that is all without the found voice recorder...  
After 3 days and an estimated 1'728'000 people with colored hair beaten up, the cockpit voice recorder of Roskosmos Flight 407 is found.

Yeshayahu brings it into the room and says. "Wow. This is it. This should give us more insight."

Susanna mentions a theory.

\- Do you think that this is anyhow related to the Incel Intifada?

Liron shuts her off by saying: "We have evidence now, we will play it and see".

Yeshayahu uncovers the tape, which seems to be in strangely good condition, unlike the box of the recorder. He plays the audiofile.

\- Ben Gurion Tower, Roskosmos 407, How do you read?

"Okay, this seems normal..." - Hiten adds.

\- The spaceport is clogged, and you will either have to divert to other spaceport, or orbit until further notice.

\- Roger that. What is the best spaceport.

\- Divert to Netanya, 45 x 45, but keep in mind that everyone else also is asking for diversion there, and you can get a clog there too.

\- Affirm, bye bye.

This is strangely calm for such a disaster. - voice of Levi. Maybe Susanna is right, and this is an accident.

Susanna somewhat lights up, but the smile is shot down with Levi's "But we'll listen to hear more". The team is standing around the computer with speakers.

\- Netanya Tower, how do you read?

\- Excellent reading, Roskosmos 407. How do you read?

\- Positive, Roskosmos 407. We need to initiate a landing.

\- Entire Israel is clogged at the moment, you will have to orbit until further notice. What is your altitude and derivative?

\- 1.3 ex 7, minus 1 ex 5 per second. [Ex means "to the power of", unit is 1.6162 km]

\- Occupy orbit level 4 ex 6, circular, inclination 90, ascending node 135 eastern.

\- Affirm, bye bye.

Armin Ghefram, another investigator: "This is where I think problems would begin. A large delay window usually leads to pilot distraction".

\- How's your wife going?

\- She cucked me for a bigger Chad, who in my opinion isn't even a Chad. More like a high-tier Brad slash normie.

\- Understandable. I am having difficulties in putting my wife to bed, because of feminism.

Liron, who was staring into the window at the moment, turns around with a "what" face. Hiten says: "Again, please".

\- She cucked me for a bigger Chad, who in my opinion isn't even a... - And here, Yeshayahu pauses the recording.

"There we go, - says Liron. - Play more of it".

\- Oh yeah, feminism. Don't even mention about how places became actually more segregated by sex than ever before. Now a man and a woman can't stay in the same room two together, and you can get thrown in jail for using the wrong pronouns.

Everyone gases at the waveform in an "nope" headshake. More and more people of the investigation team gather around the place to listen.

These social justice snowflakes take over campuses and make people so weak it is hilarious. I mean I accept gay and trans people, but not the cockarekoo ones on the parades with so much body showing, well it defeats the purpose of feminism.

"And the recording is not done yet, waveform is only set to increase". - says the higher investigator Timur Sudlenkov. Yeshayahu presses the play button again.

\- Honestly I don't know how to get my wife nicely done at this point. This is really depressing.

\- Maybe you can try to approach her and be playful?

\- No no no no no, vaginas are on the lock in th...

Liron: "What is this claim?"

is stratigraphical period. I don't want to lose my custody rights all because my wife believes in something.

\- I wonder how this all applies to trans women who are still privileged because they don't have a uterus.

\- I mean I use she/her pronouns because I have no other choice, but why am I forced to believe that a man who claims to be a woman, is a woman?

\- Fair enough. Speaking of men claiming to be women... What if I become one now and give you what you need?

\- What? Really?

\- I mean, it has been 48 minutes and we still haven't received a permission to land, so maybe if we can do it here, we can make the experience less boring.

\- Hm, I think... I actually consent to this feat.

A... Khu... Yet'. - says Timur. (Russian ахуеть means "holy fuck". Prefix "a" shows transition to a state, suffix "yet" is an infinitive verb suffix.)

"Keep playing, keep playing, not time for akhuyetim". - says Liron in her typical voice.

Meanwhile, the polysexual cosmonauts of Roskosmos went on a protest, with astronauts of other spacelines supporting them. The most prominent example was Sapphic Spacelines, who didn't have a single incident of lesbian sex in the cockpit, ever.

Plenty of people has showed solidarity with TON 618's LGBTQ+ community. The President of the black hole said: "We will not let the untraditional values enter our professional sector. People can freely ras-order their private lives how they want, but when they intersect with our professionality we will not let them pass".

According to the statistics bureau of TON 618, about 10 people with colored hair and different looks get beaten up every second on the supermassive black hole, because everyone perceives them as being LGBTQ. Safe spaces are now on intense inquest because some people are genuinely hurt. Roskosmos revenue is down by 20%. Some spacelines offered LGBTQ+ only services as a way to ease up the situation. However, the gatekeeping along with bi+phobia, acephobia, and enbyphobia eventually led to the projects failing.

Eventually the investigation team reached the most significant parts of the recording. C - captain, F - first officer.

C: Hmm, Hmm, Mmmm.

F: Senpai, I am ready.

C: Hm, the shirt slides off now, slowly... Noice.

F: Smack, really good.

As the whole team listens to recording, some people have a "bullshit laugh" on their phase. Is this really what I am listening to? The recording has reached the point where the sine wave appeared on the flight data recorder.

C: Goiiida!

Everyone is even more in the "no bullshit" mode. Hiten says "So when the captain said "Goida", spaceship started moving into different sides". Armin adds: "Well there it is, pilot distraction. Pilots need company".

Hiten says: "You are referring to the company they had in the cockpit?"

Heh heh.

Arkadiy Zubenchenko asks: "Fast forward please to autopilot disconnection, 10 seconds before it".

Uwu yes, tasty penis, noice. Really good.

F: Ahahah garshchkai awghhblbhgh, Ahhh I am getting so nicely fried now.

C: Oh, ah, um, ah, ah.

F: Aaaa, ah ah ah!

C: Riding the carnival, Riding the cock carousel like Stacies do!

F: Yeaah yeah it is in theeere yyyyeah!

C: Ahewfhiuhsaksfklahsdkadhkjfshkjfjsakhsasfk

F: Asio, asiooooo

"Wow did the captain just verbalize a gay keysmash?" - asks Liron.

F: ... but why is it turning?

C: Is it turning by itself?

Everyone facepalms without words.

F: It seems like forces increase and I am stuck on your penis... and why the yoke doesn't respond?

C: I don't know... Uhhh, so stiff... and we are going up because we went too fast...

F: Maybe I can try to slow this... uhh, the yoke should change the pitch but we just keep sinusing up!

C: Down, put it down!

F: I am trying, I can't! I don't know why it is not controlling itself!

C: Ehhhh get out of my cock!

F: I can not can not... reee aaaa

Yeshayahu slaps the button and says "All clear."

Hiten: "So the people who crashed the spaceship weren't the terrorists or hijackers... There was no instrument malfunction or in-flight breakup... They were the pilots!"

Liron drops the title: "And they were having gay sex in the cockpit".

Levi: "Well this is why it is called the.... cock pit."

Everyone in the room suddenly goes: "Haha. Haha. Hahahahha. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA".

Liron: "So should we publish the CVR data or keep it from public to avoid aiding the LGBTQ bogus situation? I would publish it the second or two, but then I would have so much colored-hair blood on my hands".

Shachar Ivy comes back with "The blood is on the hands of cosmonauts who performed this. We are just the description team".

The news eventually reach Roskosmos's higher eschelons. It was a mystery as to how could 2 experienced cosmonauts let this happen. Every disaster is usually followed by a report on prevention of similar disasters in the future. But what do you write here? Ban gay people from flying?

Liron sits at the computer screen and compiles a technical disaster report.

The preliminary cause of the incident is the 2 pilots, whose names were withheld by requests, performing off-duty activities at the workplace.

\---

For the prevention of accidents like this in the future, astronautics community must consider...

Must consider what?

Liron invites Susanna over to the PC, and asks her to compile an empathic ending.

So continue this phrase, you are an empath. "Astronautics community must consider..."

Well, I would say better monitoring of family life of the people at work, if they have problems with family or "Chad cock" they shouldn't be flying.

Liron: "Okay, this seems right"

Astronautics community must consider checking on workers' family states to prevent future situations like this, and employ necessary measures to ensure good mental state of the astronauts at work.

Okay, now some editing and word amplification, and we are done.

The investigation team wrote a 220-page report on the situation, with complete transcript of the cockpit voice recorder, analysis, and prevention mechanisms.

Why the spaceship didn't recover: At one point, the gay sex move had a reverse linear tangent. During this, autopilot worked to put the motion back in place, but kept doing so for an indefinite amount of time.

To add the salt to the disaster, it was also determined that had the astronauts simply let go of the spaceship instead of trying to put it down like this, autopilot would have corrected everything. And it was even shown in the manuals.

But who needs manuals?

After hitting "Send", Liron asked everyone else: "Hm, how would women who guard their bodies in the name of feminism will react to this?"

Another person named Mariel said: "Well one thing is that you can't just discard 758'010'000 lives for some movement. After all, these are living people who had friends, families and known ones."

Levi turned around and said: "Well these are the SJWs that nobody wants to associate with. Pilots flying Flight 407 didn't want to associate with them either, but child custody rules would have made it impossible."

Arkadiy: "Well the rules on child custody are easing up now. Now there are 2.4 fathers who win cases per 100 mothers, as opposed to 0.9 before the crash. This is still a long way from equality, and it came at the cost of 758'010'000 lives, but it is a step at least".

Liron adds the final straw, by breaking down society.

"I would add the generic "as a psychopath", but it is true. There isn't really any moral to this, from what I see. And even if we took morals, it is too late anyway. We put hastags like #prayforwhateversellsempathypornatagivenmoment, but we never actually care about these people. Let's wait for radfems to speak on this."

To speak of precisely, there was hardly any change in society, as there usually is. Some people went out to protest and misinterpret the situation, but 99.9999999% of people never looked into it.

TON 618's spacelines eventually lifted the ban on astronaut sexualities after a lot of vetoes to fly by major celestial objects.

The final report mentioned that it was both the extreme, abusive tenets of feminism, and the right-wing people's response to make fun of this feminism and creation of cringe compilations were a contributing factor to the accident. When Levi gave interview, they said "For most people in most countries, gay sex is something that they have at home. However in Russia, due to forbiddenness culture, it is something people decided to have in the cockpit. Unfortunately, the culture of gay being seen as shameful, and the subsequent reaction to it, led to the loss of 758'010'000 lives".


End file.
